The John & Penelope Hall Defining Courage Award

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Why should students focus on courage?

John and Penelope Hall were siblings who graduated from Northwood in 1983 and 1984, respectively. John, older and more naturally confident in high school, was a lifelong inspiration to Penelope. She struggled internally as a young adult and ultimately survived a suicide attempt at age 19. After three days in an Intensive Care Unit, Penelope walked out with the best smile she could muster and spent the next 25 years seeking to understand what led her to that terrible decision and mustering the courage to continue moving forward. Then one shocking summer night in 2012, 47-year-old John walked out of his home, faced the American flag hanging on his porch, and pulled the trigger that ended his life. 

Following John’s death, as Penelope processed her grief, she was able to more fully accept and understand the childhood they shared, as well as how each ultimately internalized their experiences. Through her exploration, Penelope realized that hope may not be the most powerful message after all. 

Having hope did not save her at 19, and lack of hope was not what ultimately led John to pull the trigger. It was courage … courage in the absence of hope and in the presence of fear.  When lost, hope is out there, somewhere, often invisible, nebulous, or abstract. Like “rainbows and butterflies,” hope is a lovely thing we search for, longing to see and understand. It’s a clue we want someone to give or show us. What happens when no one is there? 

Hope can fade, be dashed, and the more it lets us down, the harder it is to find again. Personal courage is within. We can dig it out ourselves. It’s not always easy and isn’t usually fun. It can require inching through the dark in the worst possible conditions, not knowing what will happen next. But it moves us forward, even in our loneliest moments. It’s gritty and real. Courage never lets us down. It carries us to a new place, and it's often there that we find the hope we thought we’d lost.